I’ve gotten past much of the hurt caused by my former church. It’s been a few years now…five to be exact. We have healed a lot. But what irks me these days is that the individual who was the pastor of said church created this evangelical machine, then he blew up his life, had to leave the pastorate, eventually left the state, and yet the machine remains here in Minnesota and continues gobbling up people, wrecking their faith, and spitting them back out. As a regular occurrence, we encounter former church members who come to us to share stories of how they “got out”, to apologize for having judged us harshly when we left, or to share the struggles they are now fighting for their faith. It’s a sad, sad story and, in my opinion, the person most responsible fled and left all these folks and this awful machine in his wake. My challenge now is not in how to love God again – I have thankfully figured that one out- but in how to forgive the people I believe are responsible for damaging so many lives. I’m definitely not there yet.
So, it’s been a while because so much has been happening. I started back to school this fall. I decided to go all the way and get a Ph.D. because if you don’t just do it, you won’t do it. I didn’t want the Ph.D. to be one of those things I wished I’d tried but never got around to. So, I’m giving it a whirl. Thus far, I’m enjoying it. I’m also trying to get back into shape. My year in a desk job resulted in a fifteen pound gain. Yikes! Sitting on your butt all day is not a good situation to be in when approaching 40. Yes, that’s right, I’m clinging to my thirties by my fingernails. I’d like to lose 40 by 40 but that won’t happen, so I’ll settle for 15 to get back to where I was. Those are my uninspired updates! Cheers and happy holiday season!
The posts prior to this entry are older, but they record a part of my journey. I like Minnesota a little more now than I did when I wrote many of these posts, although I still hate winter. I’ve managed to find some friends (although they keep moving), find a community, go back to school, all things that make life here in Minnesota better. A whole slew of blogposts waiting to be written when time permits.